Here is an awesome post by Therese Kienast from Radical leadership
“You are so god awful stupid! When are you ever going to get your act together!”
Three seconds had passed since the last venomous assault. I continued to count. Another blow struck full force, like a pro baseball player using my head for batting practice: “You don’t do crap; you’re worthless!” the voice screamed once again. It had been less than seven seconds this time but was never longer than ten before it smite me once more, violently shaking my confidence and undoing any plans I had for the day.
Any sane person would tell me to get out; to save my life; to not tolerate the abuse another minute but instead I tried to regain my balance before meekly picking up my things-to-do list, sighed and went on my way. “Clearly”, I agreed, “I was stupid or I would STOP the insanity.” I was worthless or I wouldn’t negotiate this jerk. My addiction to violence was obvious; even to me. But I wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave. This voice was my own.
Hard to believe this was happening to a woman highly held by her colleagues and clients to be a personal transformation expert; a leadership guru, a master coach and a successful entrepreneur. How had I been able to do THAT when THIS was happening in my life???
I had known for a long time that if I treated other people the way I treated myself, I’d be in jail right now. And metaphorically I was in jail. This voice was keeping me prisoner to a part of me that was constantly in the dark and contracting by the minute. This part of me had no plans to extend itself beyond the prison walls I’d created mentally, emotionally and even physically.
Oddly enough, simultaneously there was another part of me that had inspired others, transformed hearts and lives, helped people own their power and find their freedom and achieved what many would consider to be “great success”? I had a beautiful home, a comfortable bank account, great friends, a thriving business, I was doing what I loved and still, this internal terrorist would suck most of the life out of me day in and day out!
I thought about one of my corporate clients. Gail (not her real name) had come to me in a state of confusion and chaos and wanted “Out!” of her Fortune 100 company. She had spent 28 years growing her career and positioning herself favorably among her peers in an executive position; had just been given a performance appraisal that reflected the highest score possible and still she said, “I am ‘Dead Woman Walking.'” She was numb, burned out, emotionally unavailable and trying to do whatever she could to get through the next 2 years to retirement.
Here was that same “oddity” I was experiencing. She was extremely well liked by family, friends and peers; highly successful in every way and still there was an internal anxiousness and unsettled feeling haunting her every moment and sucking the life out of her physically, emotionally and mentally. She thought it was the job. I knew, given that I loved my job and had the same internal experience, it wasn’t!
It was then that I decided to add “Private Eye” to my skill-set and turn up the magnifying glass on her life and mine at heightened levels; and it was through that magnifying glass that I began to see a whole world that existed behind and below the one I was managing; behind and below the one visible to the naked eye.
Step back and become a “Private Eye” with me on a three day retreat coming up October 6-8th, 2010 on the beautiful shores of Lake Geneva, WI. There are only a couple spots left, and I want YOU there!
Here what Michael Charest, President of Business Growth Solutions had to say about attending Radical Leadership!
“Attending Radical Leadership was the single best personal development course I have taken in my life. Therese Kienast and her team are, in a word…AMAZING. Or better yet, “In Full Essence.”
You will learn in the training that this is the ultimate in self awareness, peace of mind, and self mastery! There are a lot of Leadership programs on the market, but simply put…none like this. Words do not adequately describe the impact this will have on your personal and professional life. You simply must experience it. I urge you to attend this life-changing program.
I also fully appreciate the value of my services…I came back from Radical Leadership and had the best sales week of my entire business career, including a $26,000 day! Talk about an impact…Mentally, Spiritually, and Financially! Please, get to Radical Leadership!”
Michael Charest President, Business Growth Solutions Business Coach, Speaker, Author
If you are feeling called to join us, jump on over to www.radicalleadership.com/programs-products/retreats/ and check it out